Where do we (HE and I) go from here?

 

Going to HK to work is a desired goal, but again might not be a realised goal. Most of my dreams do not come true these days, no matter how hard I believed in it, worked hard for it, gave a heart and soul to it.....

 

Wrong method? Wrong dreams?

 

I envy women who simply loves minute work, knock off at 6pm sharp and dress up nice to go for dates later....why do I care so much in ensuring what I do aligns with my principles, which are from HIM?

 

Argh.....so this is it

 

Days of uncertainty, days where I do not wish to be around. Feel so intensely similar to Tennu in TALES FROM EARTHSEA.....her lonely song, bring an outcast.....so much to relate to her.

 

Hey hey, no more woes.....no more tears, bought a new cheap sale skirt yesterday for new start. Not again, new start every other year....how many 28s will I have?

 

To change: be less idealistic

 

Maybe it has just been a dream......

 

Watched The Golden Mickeys at Disneyland HK for a 3rd time and again walked away with a different spirit, inspired by 'When You Wished Upon a Star'.

Disneyland is not just some cute themepark to me; it means something else in life, it has directed the 1st half of my life and influenced me greatly in the decisions I have chosen in career.

 

Watching it with Pei, Sian, and another sister have been wonderful; HE has blessed me with a few soul-mates whom I think is enough.

 

I will be one of those 5 people many will be waiting in heaven for me, and one day I will tell each of these souls I meet in heaven what happened in the twist of fate and interwine of our lives. Shirleen said that we will be friends for eternal life. This sentence shocked me, yet assures me again that Heaven is where our souls belong to.

 

Then why have I been chasing after something that I don't belong to and which doesnt belong to me? Job satisfaction, so-called dreams.

 

My dream should be one that is after God's heart, that is God inspired. HE knows my heart, he knows I am lost, HE knows I am not being true to my life and my loved ones, HE knows I need to move on, HE knows I am able to move on despite the wounds within my softened heart now.

 

Pain is inevitable, I am not even afraid of physical pain anymore (it's funny how I developed itch and rashes out of sudden when I arrived immediately in Changi Airport today.....A test?). The itch was unbearable, but but, I pulled through it.

I know HE will help me out.

 

A journey of weariness, negativity in 2007....time to end it, time to go out and recover my heart and soul and love for life. HE will guide me, I will do it.

 

When you wished upon a star, dreams come true

 

They really will.