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    September 10

    实践剧场

    Hi Joyce,
     
    很感谢你与社长今早的时间,让我有机会更加认识实践剧场,与待聘的职位。
     
    我非常认同追梦的那种执著,也列自己为追梦族之一,要不然,也不会离去在拉萨尔学校的高薪职位,到香港去。
    人生往往有我们意想不到的,因为暂时突然的一些状况,我还是决定回来,做我因该做的。
     
    有关于薪金的文题,感谢你们的坦白。
     
    面试后的感触颇多,也让我更深入的问自己究竟要往什么方向前进。坦白的,我最终的目标,还是希望做一个优秀的专业筹款职行者,而要前往这条路,不容易。
     
    你们对剧场的热诚很令我敬佩,而我也是拥有着类似对剧场的信,爱。
    信;因为我看过个舞台剧让我对生命有了新的 信心。
    爱;因为我们的世界里,拥有着各种各样的爱,人类,也是因为爱 而生存的。。。
     
    当我们觉得世界冷漠时,观看一部好剧,会让我们看到世界温暖的一面。
     
    若我有机会加入,我会这样介绍剧场给那些想接触,又犹豫不觉的观众:
     ‘电视剧与电影里的片段可以重播,舞台剧的魅力,唯有你亲身体验,才会发现原来花80元看的8部电影,还真有点不值钱。。。’(哈哈。。。)
     
    也许,我并不会真的这样介绍。
     
    但我还是很有信心可以将华文剧场介绍给更多新的观众,毕竟,我身边还是有一群这样'想接触 又不敢',不舍得花钱的 prospective audience....
    September 09

    A letter to thank my interviewer: You must try

     

    Dear Dr Kenson,

    NOTE OF APPRECIATION

    Thank you for taking time to see me, together with the rest of the candidates for the position of Manager, Development (ACM) today.

    In my most honest opinion of my performance at the interview, I did not score well. But, I feel totally reached out to in terms of your sincere belief in what I had to share of my past experiences. In addition, the exit kind concern towards my grandmother’s health was exceptionally encouraging.

    Interestingly, I have been very fortunate to be able to seek work experiences in passionate organizations, whether they are non-profit (Epilepsy Care Group, Student Advisory Centre) or commercial (3dsense Media School, LASALLE). PASSION means a lot to Artists, and because I value passion highly as well, openings with the National Heritage Board do attract me deeply, as I firmly believe in the therapeutic benefits of Arts & Culture appreciation, especially in times of emotional need.

    Museums are not only  educational institutions, but they can also be places for networking and enjoyment of life (as one interesting programme in the Museum of Western Art; Tokyo and Epson collaborated- OPEN; Opportunities for People Enjoyment & Networking). I find this concept really wonderful and believe that the museums in Singapore could achieve even more in terms of attendance, programmes, partnerships and publicity internationally.

    And yes, there are prospectively big, untapped international donors out there, and I do hope the museum can grow in her international donors’ pool. Also, there are more new Foundations being set up in Singapore, with Chew Hua Seng Foundation (part of Raffles Education Group) being one such that I know of as my best friend happens to be the only full time staff in the Foundation, and many of such new Foundations seek high visibility in their donations, and many still like to contribute in areas of youth work and education related causes. Therefore, it might be feasible to have joint activities with the charities in fundraising activities.

    Environmental issues are getting the BIG limelight in these recent 2 years, and Arts & Green activities do come hand in hand, if given the right dose of partnerships.

    As a Singaporean, I am blessed with many things my fellow peers in the 3rd world countries do not enjoy; a good education despite my parents’ little formal education, a good health due to good sanitation (that is so important for a country’s progress, as I seen more of this world), a good government and not forgetting the good infrastructure we have in this little island.

    And perhaps this is WHY I grew up hoping to be able to make use of my blessings to give others a pull in their needy times too. As the media frequent focused on humanitarian work reports, and the beautiful work done by Mother Teresa while I was a teenager, I set my eyes to be like her someday, and henceforth the start of my journey to venture into the non-profit world of ‘outreach to the poor and needy’.

    Gradually, this dream grew larger, and the scope of ‘social work’ expanded. I am excited to be in a position to link resources, bring volunteers and donors to fill a gap in the poverty world; and thus this best explains my pursuit.

    Recently, a good friend of mine just closed down his Art Café at the Esplanade Library; it was a nice little café where many community projects were being held, and I was glad to be part of the Café’s projects. I was at the World Art Festival for Peace 2008 in Yokohama recently and was a little sad to not see any works from fellow Singaporeans, while there were works displayed from our neighboring countries. But I do hope to see them in the future!

    As mentioned, it was a rare opportunity to be offered as the first full time staff of this leprosy outreach project that is non-affiliated to Rotary Club Hong Kong. And making choices is never something specially taught in school though we covered theories of possibilities in Mathematics, or SWOT analysis in Economics. As it is a non-expatriate offer, the increased commitments financially at home meant continuing with this hard-fought offer would not be viable in long term. With tears literally, I resigned from the offer and settled my closure with this before coming back to Singapore last week.

    In closure, I do appreciate your kindness, and the intention of my letter is really to express my most sincere gratitude for the time earlier, though short since time was running out.

    As you mentioned casually, jokingly, perhaps I should speak to Professor Tommy Koh, if I wish to build up my portfolio to join the United Nations in future. And certainly, I do believe I need to start working in a large governmental or non-governmental organization in order to go to my desired destination one day, which covers part of the reason for my application to NHB this time.

    As the saying up there goes; commit to Heaven’s hands, I shall.

    And it is with the little hope, however unusual this letter can sound (probably the first amongst so many applicants ever before?), I hope to hear from you again, on further sound advice, links, or maybe a chance for me to learn from you, in growing the donors of this museum.

    I never had a grandfather, and I believe that I do need more guidance from a more senior person, along my adventures, to reach United Nations, and I do very much like to keep you informed in my progress in time to come, if it is not inconvenient.

    Thank you for the time, and encouragement, and belief, and I wish you all the best in this recruitment exercise.

    Yours sincerely

    Teri Ng Hwee Kheng

    September 05

    The family that adopted me in 2007

    A friend inspired me to keep on believing in this magic a year ago, I shall never forget, but I will bury the magic portion he gave me.
    I finally learnt that being faithful or rather too persistent has its price to pay, and there are certain things in life that have no explanation.
     
    (Interestingly, I re-watched an old TVB drama serial earlier, about family of a banker in Qing Dynasty. The story ended with the female lead starred by Guo Xian Ni leaving the family she married into, as a second wife. She left to let go of the relationship she had with the now Son-in-law of this Banker, acted by Chen Hao. Well, this banker has passed on, and by right, Guo does not need to leave)
     
    I like what she said: 'I am still a human afterall, sometimes, the only way to let go is to leave...' Imagine the pain she feels seeing the man she once loved, or still love now her step-daughter's husband. Actually, her step-daughter passed away too....
    But there can be no way Guo and Chen Hao can be together again.
     
    Yet I believe both of them love each other, at heart, still. And it is a plain love of concern for each other....
     
    I cried, although I warn myself not to cry again, but I was too touched, or rather I felt for Guo's character.....
    Love, love changes everything, love make fools of everyone...
    Gee, I had been quite a fool this year, or rather, my whole life. I finally understood that to love someone, you have to let go of the possessive feeling, you have to keep believing in that person and wish happiness for that person.
     
    With this, I think I am prepared to walk the intended path God designed for me; to join United Nations. It will not be an easy path, but looking at the long way I have come here, from day 1 of job search, from days of little money, from days of uncertainty and no assurance from anyone that what I dreamt of doing (to be involved in humanitarian work) is worth it, I commit the next path to God's hands.
     
    I won't pretend that I am at my most joyous now, but I do wish to tell you that God is amazing; HE lets me go through many emotional feelings, situations I had never experienced before in these 2 years.
     
    Feelings such as finding a home that adopted my lost and discouraged heart, and leaving this adopted family, with a broken heart, and facing life all over again, alone, again.
    I feel alone because I never was able truly to communicate totally and freely with friends around me (oh pls do not get me wrong; you guys are all wonderful, and if not for you; I would not have lived a meaningful life), mainly because I have very different ideas from majority.
     
    Now I realise this does not mean I am weird, but merely because I hunger for different things in life. I seek for peace, harmony and love.
    But I do know you seek these 3 things too, don't you? We all do....
     
    Perhaps of the books I read since young (war stories, adventures, fairy tales, social-issues), I grew to have very different ideas of how I should lead my life. I was not happy with my family growing up because everyday was filled with conflicts (parents' quarrel, divorce, move house...), and negativity.
    Thus, I pursued a lot of self-created joy in stories of hw poor people were being helped. The most available books were Mother Theresa's and so I named her as my role model.
     
    I even wanted to be a nun, without really knowing the sacrifices behind it.
     
    And I yearn so much to have a father whom I can share my dreams with; and that everyday of my life I am living meaningfully to one day make it to do international advocacy work.
     
    And my adopted family means so much to me because they believed in me, and never look at me with a strange eye. They love me for who I am.
     
    But afterall, they are only a temporary family, I took it forever.
     
    No wonder the pain never go away; I came back to face this fear; of accepting the fact that to grow up, I have to be on my own, and I cannot hide in this adopted home forever.
     
    I just wish I can still see them again.
     
    Magic; I still believe I can, you believe too right?
     
     (This is why I love Meet the Robinsons so much...)
     

    执著

    It's 4th day back home.
     
    And 4th day back to my favourite hideout: the airport. But this time, I go there not to cry, but to use free wireless....(well, I cancelled my broadband internet service before leaving for Hong Kong).
     
    So I did make many plans to leave, and re-settle, then why return? Because I wana face my fears, and be a responsible daughter. Certainly, this means that I am not responsible to my new employer in Hong Kong.
     
    To choose, I am sorry to them, and would rather choose to be chided at. Afterall, I took up the offer in June.
     
    Am I just playing or toying others' feelings? Does it matter how you look at me right now?
    And why am I here now?
     
    It's great to be back home, after 1 month of M-I-A. Only a few knew where I went, and what I did. But I can tell you I had an amazing adventure.
     
    To save some money, some nights, I slept at the airport lounges, both in terminal 3 and overseas.
    Visited some museums, and took hours of train, saw plenty of greenery and oceans, drank cups of coffee, and green tea, and spoke to noone physically for a month except when buying food.
     
    I will tell you in time to come, for this is one of the most valuable adventures I have been to.
     
    So valuable that my tears shed in this adventure are crystalised into a lovely invisible magic crown; and this crown shall provide me with the new direction I will need for the rest of my life.
     
    Lovely and magical; now, do you feel happy for me now? : )
     
    Magic; I once believed in it, and I still do.
     
    September 02

    You can be Dark Knight

    Finally, I have all the time in the world to re-organise my thoughts, and dreams.
     
    I never stop dreaming, just that this time's withdrawal is for good reasons: I don't want to make use of this to run away.
    Well, Bruce Wayne went home to find Alfred and love Rachel again, didnt he? :)
     
    From now, see my new updates on HOW YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD or WHAT I AM DOING TO CHANGE THE WORLD in a new blog.
     
    Ok, that's all (Merinda always says in 'The Devil wears Prada')
     
    :)