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January 02 The Little PrincePerhaps u too have read the lovely novel 'The Little Prince'...
I only managed to read it recently and was again blown away by the contents.
The message of 'Being alive' is very eminent in the chapters and I simply love and grew to be re-inspired by the wonders of living life itself.
Somewhere sometime somehow, someone/something will certainly cause our living become 'dreary, miserable, unbearable, tired, hurt, sad....' from the day I understood words and their meaning, I have learnt that life is not a bed of roses.....childhood was filled with the typcial quarrels of parents over this thing called $, which everyone in this world seems to be chasing after.....
It's funny but I find myself similar( or rather used to be) to The Little Prince. His innocence, his love for his flower, his persistence in believing that for every question asked, there must be an answer, his pure love for every being, everything in fact....
If only I can be like The Little Prince towards life......well, I used to be like him.
And now, I'm becoming more and more like the 5 other people he met in the various planets....
NO! Life is so short, and I've been dreaming of death, so I need to live life to the fullest, to embrace every emotion, be it sad or happy so that on the day I really close my eyes and bid farewell to this world, I can truly shed tears of joy..... December 27 I want to live on....(1 liter of tears)One liter of tears
is the title of a Japanese drama that chronicles the struggles of 15-year-old student Aya Ikeuchi after she is diagnosed with spinocerebellar degeneration, a disease that causes one's spinal cord and cerebellum (the part of the brain responsible for balance and movement) to deteriorate until one cannot walk, speak or write.
Only watched 2 episodes and already crying in my heart (and with real tears as well). Am grateful that such a drama came into my path now, when my heart is cold and lost.
With a history of eczema, more often than not, my face would be itchy esp on rainy nights and there is little I can do. Facing my own eczema is just so similar to Aya's struggles in accepting the change in her lifestyle due to her illness. Mine is of course nothing compared to her, and she really inspires me to live on bravely and with joy daily.
It hasn't been easy for me to come to the stage where I am now in life today. Not able to be here without HIM.
Yes HIM, almighty God. Father he is, prince of peace, wonderful counselor, Savior of all mankind, and simply a friend who never fails to encourage me when I feel hopeless.
And I hope people who do not know HIM yet may one day come to realise HIS presence and strength. (It is not hard to actually figure out that people who have God in their lives always live so much more stronger in adversities, and this has nothing to do with superstition or religious etc). It is simply an outflow of gratitude and true appreciation and understanding of life's meaning that enabled those of us who claimed to be Christians to be able to live joyfully even with bad things in our lives.
And most importantly, God is NOT a genie and HE never promises a life free from worries, even as we believe in HIM.
It is not even about pyschological change when I accepted Christ. It was simply about being able to forgive and love and love life and people genuninely that makes me able to feel true happiness regardless of which situation I am in (as I am taught the basics of life- that we need to love ourselves , to receive and give love)
The true meaning of life is actually to love and be loved!!! Sounds so 'girly' and mushy, but in truth it is what life is about. Come on, even the world's richest man, and Bill gates has Melinda to share his story and life with and no matter how wealthy one is, he needs a soul mate.
And this soul mate is actually God......
Of course I'll be lying if I said I have never
- feel jealous of friends who are healthy and have clear complexion (which needs little care unlike mine that needs expensive skincare and treatment from the dermatologist)
-jealous of others who have what I don't have....(beauty, wealth, health, partner, family joy)
But again, I've learnt to try to be contented in whatever situation I am in, be it in poverty or in richness...quoting St Paul in book of Philippians.
Just wanna thank Aya for leaving behind her diary so as to inspire me and so many others who have read her book and watched the drama " One liter of tears".
Suddenly I wanna do a fund raising event for the caretakers/givers of patients like Aya or other patients with incurable illness. Often than not, these caregivers are left out, burnt out and misunderstood when they become too tired to continue to take care of their dependents.
I hate to walk away after a show just like this and not doing anything.
I will, and must do something to spread the determination of Aya.
Life is difficult, life is upsetting, and certainly love can be painful, but I realised that to love another is really to see the face of God- that is to do things that give joy to those whom you love rather than focus on the outcome of the love given.
Thus, after grasping this, it isn't that hard for me to buy a flower for Reina for her last day (though in humanistic terms, we won't be colleagues and there is no need for me to please her etc....well, we all take love too conditional....
So which is why I try to practise unconditional love as much as I can...though many times, I failed.
But bought gifts for people just to make them happy....and I really love giving christmas presents away, esp to my 3 handsome bosses, because I am grateful to each of them in special ways.
True love expects no reciprocation and is the highest form of love....which is God's divine love for us, that he sent Jesus, his beloved one son to die for our sins, so that we can live and be reconciled to God one day.
I'm not being preachy here, but am trying to get over some disappointments in terms of personal relationships (aka topic of love).
Hope that my sis-in-law (or rather ex sis-in-law) can get over this pain and live on bravely.....
But again, it is and will be my prayer for him and her to reconcile one day.....because I love fairy tale endings and I hate to see seperation (who likes?).
Meanwhile, I am prepared to cry my lungs out when I watch the final episode of this drama.
I can't agree less: Being alive is a lovely and wonderful thing- Aya Ikeuchi (who died at 25)......
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