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    September 10

    实践剧场

    Hi Joyce,
     
    很感谢你与社长今早的时间,让我有机会更加认识实践剧场,与待聘的职位。
     
    我非常认同追梦的那种执著,也列自己为追梦族之一,要不然,也不会离去在拉萨尔学校的高薪职位,到香港去。
    人生往往有我们意想不到的,因为暂时突然的一些状况,我还是决定回来,做我因该做的。
     
    有关于薪金的文题,感谢你们的坦白。
     
    面试后的感触颇多,也让我更深入的问自己究竟要往什么方向前进。坦白的,我最终的目标,还是希望做一个优秀的专业筹款职行者,而要前往这条路,不容易。
     
    你们对剧场的热诚很令我敬佩,而我也是拥有着类似对剧场的信,爱。
    信;因为我看过个舞台剧让我对生命有了新的 信心。
    爱;因为我们的世界里,拥有着各种各样的爱,人类,也是因为爱 而生存的。。。
     
    当我们觉得世界冷漠时,观看一部好剧,会让我们看到世界温暖的一面。
     
    若我有机会加入,我会这样介绍剧场给那些想接触,又犹豫不觉的观众:
     ‘电视剧与电影里的片段可以重播,舞台剧的魅力,唯有你亲身体验,才会发现原来花80元看的8部电影,还真有点不值钱。。。’(哈哈。。。)
     
    也许,我并不会真的这样介绍。
     
    但我还是很有信心可以将华文剧场介绍给更多新的观众,毕竟,我身边还是有一群这样'想接触 又不敢',不舍得花钱的 prospective audience....
    September 09

    A letter to thank my interviewer: You must try

     

    Dear Dr Kenson,

    NOTE OF APPRECIATION

    Thank you for taking time to see me, together with the rest of the candidates for the position of Manager, Development (ACM) today.

    In my most honest opinion of my performance at the interview, I did not score well. But, I feel totally reached out to in terms of your sincere belief in what I had to share of my past experiences. In addition, the exit kind concern towards my grandmother’s health was exceptionally encouraging.

    Interestingly, I have been very fortunate to be able to seek work experiences in passionate organizations, whether they are non-profit (Epilepsy Care Group, Student Advisory Centre) or commercial (3dsense Media School, LASALLE). PASSION means a lot to Artists, and because I value passion highly as well, openings with the National Heritage Board do attract me deeply, as I firmly believe in the therapeutic benefits of Arts & Culture appreciation, especially in times of emotional need.

    Museums are not only  educational institutions, but they can also be places for networking and enjoyment of life (as one interesting programme in the Museum of Western Art; Tokyo and Epson collaborated- OPEN; Opportunities for People Enjoyment & Networking). I find this concept really wonderful and believe that the museums in Singapore could achieve even more in terms of attendance, programmes, partnerships and publicity internationally.

    And yes, there are prospectively big, untapped international donors out there, and I do hope the museum can grow in her international donors’ pool. Also, there are more new Foundations being set up in Singapore, with Chew Hua Seng Foundation (part of Raffles Education Group) being one such that I know of as my best friend happens to be the only full time staff in the Foundation, and many of such new Foundations seek high visibility in their donations, and many still like to contribute in areas of youth work and education related causes. Therefore, it might be feasible to have joint activities with the charities in fundraising activities.

    Environmental issues are getting the BIG limelight in these recent 2 years, and Arts & Green activities do come hand in hand, if given the right dose of partnerships.

    As a Singaporean, I am blessed with many things my fellow peers in the 3rd world countries do not enjoy; a good education despite my parents’ little formal education, a good health due to good sanitation (that is so important for a country’s progress, as I seen more of this world), a good government and not forgetting the good infrastructure we have in this little island.

    And perhaps this is WHY I grew up hoping to be able to make use of my blessings to give others a pull in their needy times too. As the media frequent focused on humanitarian work reports, and the beautiful work done by Mother Teresa while I was a teenager, I set my eyes to be like her someday, and henceforth the start of my journey to venture into the non-profit world of ‘outreach to the poor and needy’.

    Gradually, this dream grew larger, and the scope of ‘social work’ expanded. I am excited to be in a position to link resources, bring volunteers and donors to fill a gap in the poverty world; and thus this best explains my pursuit.

    Recently, a good friend of mine just closed down his Art Café at the Esplanade Library; it was a nice little café where many community projects were being held, and I was glad to be part of the Café’s projects. I was at the World Art Festival for Peace 2008 in Yokohama recently and was a little sad to not see any works from fellow Singaporeans, while there were works displayed from our neighboring countries. But I do hope to see them in the future!

    As mentioned, it was a rare opportunity to be offered as the first full time staff of this leprosy outreach project that is non-affiliated to Rotary Club Hong Kong. And making choices is never something specially taught in school though we covered theories of possibilities in Mathematics, or SWOT analysis in Economics. As it is a non-expatriate offer, the increased commitments financially at home meant continuing with this hard-fought offer would not be viable in long term. With tears literally, I resigned from the offer and settled my closure with this before coming back to Singapore last week.

    In closure, I do appreciate your kindness, and the intention of my letter is really to express my most sincere gratitude for the time earlier, though short since time was running out.

    As you mentioned casually, jokingly, perhaps I should speak to Professor Tommy Koh, if I wish to build up my portfolio to join the United Nations in future. And certainly, I do believe I need to start working in a large governmental or non-governmental organization in order to go to my desired destination one day, which covers part of the reason for my application to NHB this time.

    As the saying up there goes; commit to Heaven’s hands, I shall.

    And it is with the little hope, however unusual this letter can sound (probably the first amongst so many applicants ever before?), I hope to hear from you again, on further sound advice, links, or maybe a chance for me to learn from you, in growing the donors of this museum.

    I never had a grandfather, and I believe that I do need more guidance from a more senior person, along my adventures, to reach United Nations, and I do very much like to keep you informed in my progress in time to come, if it is not inconvenient.

    Thank you for the time, and encouragement, and belief, and I wish you all the best in this recruitment exercise.

    Yours sincerely

    Teri Ng Hwee Kheng

    September 05

    The family that adopted me in 2007

    A friend inspired me to keep on believing in this magic a year ago, I shall never forget, but I will bury the magic portion he gave me.
    I finally learnt that being faithful or rather too persistent has its price to pay, and there are certain things in life that have no explanation.
     
    (Interestingly, I re-watched an old TVB drama serial earlier, about family of a banker in Qing Dynasty. The story ended with the female lead starred by Guo Xian Ni leaving the family she married into, as a second wife. She left to let go of the relationship she had with the now Son-in-law of this Banker, acted by Chen Hao. Well, this banker has passed on, and by right, Guo does not need to leave)
     
    I like what she said: 'I am still a human afterall, sometimes, the only way to let go is to leave...' Imagine the pain she feels seeing the man she once loved, or still love now her step-daughter's husband. Actually, her step-daughter passed away too....
    But there can be no way Guo and Chen Hao can be together again.
     
    Yet I believe both of them love each other, at heart, still. And it is a plain love of concern for each other....
     
    I cried, although I warn myself not to cry again, but I was too touched, or rather I felt for Guo's character.....
    Love, love changes everything, love make fools of everyone...
    Gee, I had been quite a fool this year, or rather, my whole life. I finally understood that to love someone, you have to let go of the possessive feeling, you have to keep believing in that person and wish happiness for that person.
     
    With this, I think I am prepared to walk the intended path God designed for me; to join United Nations. It will not be an easy path, but looking at the long way I have come here, from day 1 of job search, from days of little money, from days of uncertainty and no assurance from anyone that what I dreamt of doing (to be involved in humanitarian work) is worth it, I commit the next path to God's hands.
     
    I won't pretend that I am at my most joyous now, but I do wish to tell you that God is amazing; HE lets me go through many emotional feelings, situations I had never experienced before in these 2 years.
     
    Feelings such as finding a home that adopted my lost and discouraged heart, and leaving this adopted family, with a broken heart, and facing life all over again, alone, again.
    I feel alone because I never was able truly to communicate totally and freely with friends around me (oh pls do not get me wrong; you guys are all wonderful, and if not for you; I would not have lived a meaningful life), mainly because I have very different ideas from majority.
     
    Now I realise this does not mean I am weird, but merely because I hunger for different things in life. I seek for peace, harmony and love.
    But I do know you seek these 3 things too, don't you? We all do....
     
    Perhaps of the books I read since young (war stories, adventures, fairy tales, social-issues), I grew to have very different ideas of how I should lead my life. I was not happy with my family growing up because everyday was filled with conflicts (parents' quarrel, divorce, move house...), and negativity.
    Thus, I pursued a lot of self-created joy in stories of hw poor people were being helped. The most available books were Mother Theresa's and so I named her as my role model.
     
    I even wanted to be a nun, without really knowing the sacrifices behind it.
     
    And I yearn so much to have a father whom I can share my dreams with; and that everyday of my life I am living meaningfully to one day make it to do international advocacy work.
     
    And my adopted family means so much to me because they believed in me, and never look at me with a strange eye. They love me for who I am.
     
    But afterall, they are only a temporary family, I took it forever.
     
    No wonder the pain never go away; I came back to face this fear; of accepting the fact that to grow up, I have to be on my own, and I cannot hide in this adopted home forever.
     
    I just wish I can still see them again.
     
    Magic; I still believe I can, you believe too right?
     
     (This is why I love Meet the Robinsons so much...)
     

    执著

    It's 4th day back home.
     
    And 4th day back to my favourite hideout: the airport. But this time, I go there not to cry, but to use free wireless....(well, I cancelled my broadband internet service before leaving for Hong Kong).
     
    So I did make many plans to leave, and re-settle, then why return? Because I wana face my fears, and be a responsible daughter. Certainly, this means that I am not responsible to my new employer in Hong Kong.
     
    To choose, I am sorry to them, and would rather choose to be chided at. Afterall, I took up the offer in June.
     
    Am I just playing or toying others' feelings? Does it matter how you look at me right now?
    And why am I here now?
     
    It's great to be back home, after 1 month of M-I-A. Only a few knew where I went, and what I did. But I can tell you I had an amazing adventure.
     
    To save some money, some nights, I slept at the airport lounges, both in terminal 3 and overseas.
    Visited some museums, and took hours of train, saw plenty of greenery and oceans, drank cups of coffee, and green tea, and spoke to noone physically for a month except when buying food.
     
    I will tell you in time to come, for this is one of the most valuable adventures I have been to.
     
    So valuable that my tears shed in this adventure are crystalised into a lovely invisible magic crown; and this crown shall provide me with the new direction I will need for the rest of my life.
     
    Lovely and magical; now, do you feel happy for me now? : )
     
    Magic; I once believed in it, and I still do.
     
    September 02

    You can be Dark Knight

    Finally, I have all the time in the world to re-organise my thoughts, and dreams.
     
    I never stop dreaming, just that this time's withdrawal is for good reasons: I don't want to make use of this to run away.
    Well, Bruce Wayne went home to find Alfred and love Rachel again, didnt he? :)
     
    From now, see my new updates on HOW YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD or WHAT I AM DOING TO CHANGE THE WORLD in a new blog.
     
    Ok, that's all (Merinda always says in 'The Devil wears Prada')
     
    :)
    August 24

    爱;重新爱家

    让自己放逐的这几个星期,会是一段很有意义的回忆。
     
    你猜我在做什么?
    我在 重新做人 啊!这一年里的眼泪,比那一年 水淹金山寺 的洪水 还多。。。(哈哈)。 其实,从小,就很会哭 (死不承任)。
     
    不后悔,不回后悔放弃稳定的高薪工作,然后到香港。 你不懂,无所谓: )
     
    我,只希望 你会继续 爱 我。
     
    因为,我更了解这个世界了!!!
     
    (I found out how little I know about this world...I didnt know about luxury goods, about the banking world, about Fashion, about why Men are from Mars, women from Venues, why Sex in the City sells, why Cameron Diaz was so famous, why Beatles was number 1 these years....and why my family IS my family, of which LOVE is unconditional!)
     
    I am learning so much these 2 years, after I left the non-profit world, to seek an adventure of learning, to be exposed to the commercial world. Learning to fall in love, which I did (I wanted to find out how it is like....fall in and out of love), and then cry because of lost relationships etc....
     
    Phew, if only God warned me before I prayed for such learning scenarios again.
     
    Actually, I wana do many things; find a group of new friends to do some wild things with me; run a mararthon in Tokyo in 09, join the Oxfam Trailwalker, go jogging weekly, sing KTV once a month, play squash once a month, organise tea parties and raise some funds/awareness for different causes, and visit elderly once a while again.
     
    Oh yes! I fell in love with drinking.....err, a glass each time is ok right? I wana go hang out at clubs, bars, just to meet different men and women.
     
    So many things to do in life....and most importantly, to keep writing, and a strange idea came into my head last night; to compile my diary to send to Jack Neo...hahaha......
     
    Day dreaming is what I like the best; yet I often am blessed with the magic to turn dreams into reality.
     
    Look forward to a brand new start, finally. Finally, no more walking past that same street....that made my heart beat twice as fast, eyes wandered thrice as much, and hopeful of wishing wishing everyday.
     
    There's an end to every wish; sometimes. I learnt this.
     
    Give me until 6 Oct, and it will be complete: )
     
     
     
     
    August 04

    I said Goodbye

    Finally, that day came when I was supposed to fly to Hong Kong to start my 'dream job' in fundraising.
     
    I recalled the night before, I did what I had wanted to do since 8 months ago; to call him and say 'I am sorry and I just wana thank you for everything, in person'.
    With courage, I did that, that was 30 July.
     
    And I visited her at her new home:) Chic place. 7 Mt Sophia, peaceful, and used to be a church:) God's presence will protect HER.He.Him.
     
    终于,我跟所有的朋友告别了,我会想念每一位在我心中开花的友情。
     
     
     
     
    July 09

    2-timing (but love unconditionally ya)

     
    Am watching the TVB drama about the Abalone Family (soon, i'll be watching TVB dramas in cantonese?....)
     
    Lam Feng 2-timed his girlfriend in this show, and reminded me of the way I handled my work life. I quit L without getting an approved work visa from the HK offer.
    Some say I am stupid, some do not even understand why I give me the stable income and good job in a prestigious Arts school in Singapore!
     
    My answer is: I do not want to 2-time L.
     
    So I gambled, I told God that my conscience matters more and I just wana be faithful to the company, no matter where. My feelings for L started more than 3 years ago. Little did I know that after the 1 fulfilling year with HEr, I would be brought to L.
    My feelings for 3dsense grew right from 1st day.
     
    She meant more than a job to me; she become a friend, a mentor, a teacher, a parent.
     
    I miss her so much.
     
    But, feelings cannot bring me to anywhere, and sometimes, others will not want to hear how I feel. As long as He knows, HE knows, she knows, it is enough.
     
    Moving on, I like to declare I got my Work Visa! Tony(my future boss) emailed me that he has gotten my work visa and will be mailing to me!
    (Shh....I am not that excited about the organisation but I am happy to win this deal....this job in Hong Kong seems to come by so easily....???why?)
     
    I no longer share my personal thoughts or even who I am, as a person at work. Noone at L knows or anything about me. I am just Teri Ng who hardly eats lunch, who works late, who looks stressed with a lot of work (or troubles?) all the time......
     
    (so many times I wish I can be myself.....)
     
    I am looking forward to attend Elissa's wedding, have lunch farewell with the DAA and DSS gals.....whom I know I will miss working with. At work, we sometimes argue or am not happy with each other, but personal wise, I am glad God gave me a character that is sensitive to people's needs (or have I lost this?)
     
    I love harmonious working relations, or rather, any kind of relations.
     
    Having said this, I am so tired, because I cried endlessly again today.....because of something stuck in my heart - I will do it.
    The way Jesus would have done.
     
    LOVE, unconditonally, yeah:)
     
     
    June 28

    Fears

     
    Perfect love has no fear- read this in the bible today. (It has been a long time since I read the bible, and reflect on it).
    Crazily,as typical of me,Dare to do- I flown here alone again, for the 3rd time.
     
    Agenda, to find an answer, to find a space to be alone,to cry.
     
    I read that it is not meant to be,not HIS will:) 
     
    It will be alright. 
     
    GOD.
     
    (Did I ever share that the way I key my pin number 13 02 79 is the exact shape of a CROSS +!?)
     
    June 21

    Can give me eye cream?

     
    My eyes have been crying, because the heart has been bleeding, because the mind has been disturbed, because the soul has been disorientated, because the Spirit has been LOST.
     
    So desne.
     
    So this is why I have been crying non-stop, without fail, since Nov 2006, after leaving her.
     
    I dislike myself for being so weak, so in LASALLE I tuned in the mode of being 'Strong', 'Calm'. Even as operationally there were things that did not go smooth or when I did not manage a project well enough, I handled these with calmness.
     
    I, just wana be strong outwardly.
     
    Yet inwardly when I am alone, during weekends, I cry. I can sit at T3, T1, or anywhere that is without the sight of people and cry endlessly.
     
    Can someone give me 2 tubes of eye-cream as my farewell gift?
     
     
    May 17

    天灾:四川地震

     
    为什么?
    我从来不会问为什么. 记得生病那一段时候,  也很坚强,不埋怨天.
     
    这个星期,大家的目光都在四川地震; 看多了,连辛酸的感觉也会渐渐消失. 我, 什么时候变得如此无情?
     
    No. I am not being indifferent, am just seeing this world from another light. Disasters happen for a reason, HIS plans, and we have no control over. Besides praying for the victims and the orphans, surely there must be more that I can do?
     
    As a child, I fantasized of being able to do something during such disasters. And being an adult now, I really have the ability to make the difference.
    If I want to, I can start an education fund for these orphans, give them a home, build a school for them!
     
    It is not difficult at all - in my dictionary, LOVE always wins and nothing is impossible.
     
    But, having gone through a severe setback in relationships, I did nothing except cry for the last 6 months; cry because I loved too hard and with no certain or resolved answer, my heart is being weighed down by this unsaid settlement every night.
     
    Only I can explain to my Doc why I am falling sick every 2 weeks - I just had fever and flu 2 weeks ago, and took another MC yesterday, again ; my 4th in 2/1/2 months at L.
     
    刚刚, 又因为太思念 而哭了, 还哭得无声, 可悲.
    但是,我想, 我还是可以走下去. 才6个月, 再给我6个月,也许就可以不再因为那件事 而哭.
     
    我的心,为灾民哭泣, 也为那段失去的友情继续哭泣.
     
    想念他.她. 它
     
    May 10

    友情. 不懂

     
    度过了疲累的一周,心里,还是迷失的.
    工作上除了差错, 但主任很好.
     
    不懂的是, 为何简简单单的仰慕, 敬喂,感谢的友爱,会如此不是我想象的忧伤.
     
    今天,一位我敬爱的好友突然不要这份友情了.......让我不能理解,不能睡.
     
    是我有做错了什么吗?
     
    我 只是 想说:谢谢你, 感激你, 永远记得你的好, 和他人分享你的好,
     
    你是天使
     
    请不要离开我.........
    May 05

    Kent Wong: Animator, really like him

    Some friends simply make you laugh, some make you cry. Kent Wong, an inspiration. A friend's friend whom became my friend as well.

    LIKE Kent, love his smile, his jokes, his animated face, features, his generosity. Most of all, I love his passion. Passion for Animation. Not many would have gone through what he has gone through; I will never forget that special moment we had at that small little cafe in Tokyo, after shopping at Ikebukuro. It was winter, and the weather was extremely cold.... And Kent, in his usual bubbly self, brought me so much warmth at that moment of LOST.SADNESS.UNCERTAINTY.

    At that moment, there was only ONE agenda on my To-Do List: to buy that bag for a treasured friend at the Red Brick House at Yokohama; a place that brought me so much joy and sadness. It was at that place when I really fell in love, with someone who did not feel exactly the same, but I thought maybe he did. Kent, he is back, and we had another lovely dinner, this time round with Pei Pei. Hmm, I am trying to match them together...haha (why not? since both of these 2 people whom I love like music and FF so much!).

    Yap, I like him too, but in another way; he's a friend, a confidate at times though many times when we chat on msn, he did not understand me and scolded me many times.... We quarreled a few times so far.... and we've met only 3 times. Some friends remain friends no matter how short the time spent together is. Some friends that were very dear and close to the heart simply break away, and THE END.

    He came a long way; Kent. Spent huge amounts at a private school that did not teach him what he desired to learn; animation and yet the desires in him; to be an animator remains and grows even as he got hurt (by that school), and finally, Fate brought him to 3dsense Media School, the same way Fate brought me to this school. And it is here he finally learnt what he had always wanted to learn; all because of a young passionate small little guy named KS. KS's passion led him to start this school, with whatever he had. And this school grew to be where she is today; well respected by like-minded individuals all over the world.

    Have you ever had a friend whose Job title is: ANIMATOR? Well, I am fortunate to have one such friend, and his name is Kent Wong. Kent; thank you, thank you so much for being an inspiration. You fell, fell deeply before, got so hurt and disillusioned, but your passion remains. With this, I must walk on the path I have always wanted to walk

    I told KS I am so tired and am so lonely doing this mega role at L now; but, I must hang on, really hang on because the only reason for working hard now is to one day go to somewhere where I can do professional fundraising.

    Have you ever had a friend whose occupation is: Fundraiser? Well, I shall be the first one:)

    I will miss you Kent. And I still miss HER.him.he ; a lovely magical place like Terabithia, a wonderful place where Fairy Tales really come true.....

    May 01

    3rd stop: 想睡

     
    又生病了.喉咙痛,发烧....
     
    也许是因为太想念........................................................明天,会再见面吗?
     
    Missing him, Missing her, and he.
     
     
    April 28

    2nd stop: 我相信. I believe

     
    不知道在高兴什么,你的笑容
    有时候也宁可,当作你为我加油
     - 我相信. I believe -
     
    她与他不约而同的在同一天决定离开这个喧哗的城市。
    他已经想好要去的地方; 多年来,他都是一直工作,为理想奋斗,所以他累了,想要休息。
    她已经完成她在这个城市的责任; 接受了去许多白玫瑰; 心里还没有决定要去哪里, 只是心里依然想去东京铁塔看看。
    也许,你也希望可以离开这个拥挤又寂寞的都市,不是吗?
     
     

    First stop: 机场也会寂寞

      
    她的世界里,很有满足感,一直在帮分开的人相聚。
    他的世界里,也很有满足感,一直在帮迷失的人重新找到梦想。
    它感受到她和她的内心世界,每一天也都在感受每一位搭客的心情,
    它,也累了, 他感觉好寂寞,她坚持相信寂寞也是美好的。
    开始感觉不到以往的兴奋,也放下对生存的奋斗,纵然以最温暖的笑容去迎接陆续进出的程客;甲乙丙丁
    又有谁体会它冰冷,孤寂的内心?
     
     
     
     
    希望有人可以聆听它
    希望有一天 他会打一通电话给她
    每一天 也想打一通电话给他
    却在等, 她也继续在等。。。
    有些人就是这样等上了一辈子, 无法再遇上
    你呢,等到了吗?
    April 26

    一個好爸爸: A Treat for Shumei; a forgotten soul

    今天,終於又和淑梅見面,我請她看電影。她已經康復了,我很開心! 我們看了古天樂主演的<一個好爸爸>。 

    Interestingly, I thought it was a comedy (well, it is, there were plenty of scenes that made me laugh, even as I am feeling so Sad these days). It is more than a comedy. I cried, a few times throughout the movie, because it touches my heart and soul. Louis Khoo's acting is so good that I can't think of another actor to replace him in this show. In Summary, he is a gangster in the film, but ever since a one-night stand with Renee Lau, which led him to eventually marry her (against his wishes), because she is pregnant (but he really loves her too). And as the story unfolds, more depth into his soul and heart is being revealed to us as he tries to be a good father simply because she has touched him to change his lifestyle for her happiness. He does not want his daughter, Xi-er (Happiness) to know he is a gangster and thrives as a gang leader in the Dark side of society, and with the growing love for her, he compels to change himself, to the extent of giving up his illegal business to run a Tuition Centre (well, basically, it is very hard for him to quit his dark activities and he began to lead a double life, pretending to be a legal business man yet running underground businesses....).

    I love the part when he went to the Tatoo shop to overwrite the Tiger tatoo on his chest that his 5 year old daughter cries upon looking at it one day at a beach outing. It shows how much love can change someone..... And another touching part is he gave up his own relationship with 'GUAN GONG' (well, all Secret societies worship GUAN YU- LOYALTY), to become a Catholic just so that his daughter and wife are happy. It was a funny yet warm scene. I like the way Director Sylvia Chang directed and incorporated different life meanings into this seemingly meaningless atypical movie at first sight. In greater depth, this is a great movie, displaying the meaning of life across various angles. Secret societies; always featured in Hong Kong movies, but this one helped me understand and in fact admire the kind of loyalty secret societies members have for one another. The perseverence and strong-willedness of each member inspired me greatly actually...... Faith;

    Sylvia Chang Ai Chia is one of the few whom always dare to make an open statement on God in her movies. Really, prayers really can change someone's life, and this is what she wishes to 'preach' in this movie and of course, the ultimate theme of LOVE CHANGES EVERYTHING.

    Thank God, for today, for a special friend like Shumei. She is a very very forgotten soul in this world; it takes a lot to be her friend, but it takes very little to make her happy. A treat of hotdog and ice tea and a cute purse from Precious Moments made her day; I feel so happy today because I know that I have touched her life today. I will never forget how I told God I will love her for as long as I live, simply because I shed tears for her before, being helpless to change her, help her move on to a normal life.....until one day, it dawn upon me that she is the way she is, she has a mental hiccup, and she just needs love, plain love. And God has put me in her life NOT to heal her, but to LOVE her, simple, pure love...... So, I thank her for giving me a chance to love her. She will never love me back the way I hope she can, being a soul-mate or a friend who can relate or listen to me, but I will love her for who she is.... because she loved me for who I am.

    I miss HER, again, after watching this movie......I will keep walking forward and continue to convert my sad feelings towards her, him into beautiful strengths to touch others.

    Thank you; you are one of my best friends in this life:)

    You're always in my prayers...

    Beautiful 2007 spent with HER

     Another week has gone by. 2 months with a bigger scope at L, and aimless fighting.
     
    Aimless? Hmm, I do not know or believe if MSF or Oxfam or Orbis will take me in when I am 35. I told all my prospective employers during my last job search that I am looking for a job that allows me to go to work in MSF.
    There is only 1 brand that I would like to market, with all my heart; and that was: Humanity.
     
    Now, I am losing sight of the possibilities, not because I do not have faith, but I am a woman, a human being, and after endless attempts to promote my skills, to convince them that I can do the job, I may not know Raisers' Edge, but I know where and how to find donors and turn them into regular donors. I am confident that every single donor that passes through me will be touched....
     
    I have done it before at SAC; just pure magic, pure passion transformed 1 skeptical prospective donor to convince his 2 other friends to join in as well. The satisfaction was huge. No one asked me to do beyond, I merely wanted to do so because I believe in the pure power of magic.
     
    Beautiful 2007 was spent with HER. Every daily experience, encounter with every student, every staff, and him lives strongly in my heart. No one knows how deep the experience could be, no one knows how many tears I shed for her. him. them.
     
    I woke up daily missing her, missing him, and he.
     
    I wish to explain why; it is simply HOME. I felt like an orphan fighting endlessly headlessly for my dreams since I started working in 2002, and I was very brave to go forward to pursue what I believed in. God was with me, and no one else.
    (I had a hard time explaining why I went to work with Epilepsy Care Group; it was not the most cheerful place, epileptic people were struggling to be accepted into society, and I felt great being there, because I could relate to them; I felt unbelonged, unaccepted most of the time in my living days).
     
    SHE is an interesting school that thrives on passion and for someone like me to bump into her, it is not coincidence, it is Fate. I like the way Fate arranged for me to experience the best there, yet left feeling the most weak.
    I have to keep reminding myself that without her.him.he, I will not be able to understand Humanity's humaneness or Humans' humanity.
     
    Humanity, a brand that I wanted to promote all my life; why?
     Because HE created me to be so, and I slipped, and he appeared to hold me when I wanted to let go of this dream that I held on to all my life.
     
    It was the only reason to live on; to promote humanity; I read tons of World War stories as a child, and Anne Frank touched me so much that I fell in love with her. I still want to read her words again.
     
    And I am slowly to believe that one day, my words can bring hope to those who are bereaved and most weak....
     
    From Beautiful Solitude, I emerged to be Beautiful Human.
    I am , just a Human being, that's why I cry, still cry over the best part of life that I had, and gave it up myself.
     
    我只不过是一个孩子.....
     
    想念 HER , 你们 要去 看看 哦:)  @ Paradiz Centre, 04-01
     
    April 21

    地下铁: I miss HER very much

     
    总在跌跌幢幢之后才仿佛明白,很多事情是不能强求的 - Jimmy Sound of Colors
     
    20 April 2008, 我还是独自在CityHall忍不住哭了一个小时,望着夕阳西下的天空,心中那份孤寂与彷徨让我无法振作.
    眼泪, 还是陪我度过了周末.
     
    Will I able to recover my faith in life and friendships?
    April 20

    《感恩录〉

     
    想感谢许多人在生命中的支持与鼓励:
    1。父母, 哥, 妹
    2。几米的绘画
    3。Snih的绘画明信卡
    photo141141photo236
    4。朋友。。。。
    秀忆表妹,Weilin, Carol Sim, Anna, Kathy, Patsy, Joyce Seah, Damien, Diana, Liqin, Ziyun, Shumei, Jared, Michael, Yvette, Tian, Tianfang, Zhengyang, Anita, Parames, Lihuang,Lijun, Peiyi, Weiping, Geraldine, Surianah, Zul, Novi, ShihYun, Patrick,诗敏,宝玲,KENT
    最真心的有: 佩,绍达,圣杰,爱丽, SiewKhim,Jon,James,Juliana,国升
    那位似朋友不是朋友的他,但是,我觉得他 是朋友,也曾经真心的待我是朋友...
    还有很多很多在岁月留下回忆的朋友.天使
    5。 感谢主给我爱这个世界的机会
    曾经有一份真诚的爱摆在我的面前,但是我没有珍惜,等到失去的时候才后悔莫及,尘世间最痛苦的事莫过于此。如果上天可以给我个机会再来一次的话,会对这个世界说我爱它,如果非要在这份爱加上一个期限,我希望是一万年。。。。
     
    \
    我会爱这个世界的,不管有时多沮丧,世界是美好的..只因为有你在!
    (请容忍我对世界失望的时候.)